A thought before heading to work…

16 02 2009

I am, right at this very minute, from the sale price of my laptop I am 70 dollars and 17 cents away from my laptop.

Here’s the specs according to Microcenter.com:

For a computer of that price, it’s all kinds of awesome! (I like how it has expandable memory slots up to 4 gig!) and it’s all shiny and chrome-looking. Although it’s not as much when I saw it in the store. I’m going to keep it in mind though when I do order it. I’m so excited.

No really, I am.

I’ll be able to do NaNoWriMo on a laptop this year, and not in pen and transcribe (Although I will do that at work, they don’t seem to care when I’m writing, they do however, mind if I read between calls. What can I say? It doesn’t make sense to me either!)

I’m close to using wifi hotspots to check on things, and going places with my laptop. WOOT! it’s awesome!

I’m so close to that!

TTYL I’ve got to get to work.


A Well Needed Rest

8 02 2009

Today probably had been the most awesome day. I shall keep this as a favorite of a day that I wish I could play over again for days to come.

So I wake up in the morning, do my normal routine. I read the Sunday dispatch and knock a few things off my list. (TOLD YOU, I’m obsessed with LISTS!) It’s quite an accomplishment when I do.

So I did that, and went out to get groceries. Then realized that my bank is closed. Nonplussed I went to Giant Eagle and got a bunch of stuff and then forgot to get cash back for gas. I got 20 cents off a gallon! WOOT!

So I got my gas, happy a full tank cost less than 20 dollars and then just started driving around, forgetting the frozen foods in my back seat. I mailed a letter then came home and put the groceries away.

I sat on the couch and fell asleep. I kept waking up so I curled up completely on the couch and fell into a slumber so deep I don’t remember dreaming, of if I did they weren’t as anxiety ridden.

When I woke up I found that Bella was asleep on me. So I started petting her, then butters joined her on top as well and we just had a cuddlefest with Jim Brickman tinkling in the backround. I never had felt better.

My back was stiff a little, but I worked out the kinks. And for the first time in three or so months, the tension of my neck was gone. The only thing that mattered was enjoying the feeling of sitting there and petting my cats and everything was fine in the world.

I think part of being an adult is that constant worry, that constant stress. What if I loose my job tomorrow? What if my electric gets shut off or my phone? What would I do then? Woudl I be able to manage it? What if I lost my apartment where would I and the birds go. What if they decided that I was worthless and everything. What if my family completely disowned me? And the whole thing with my Dad lately.

I can’t help these worries all the time, because they’re a constant problem in the back of my head.  They are behind everything I do in life. When I’m at work, i’m worrying about home, when I’m at home, I’m worrying about work, or lamenting the loss of friends and aquaintences.

And somehow today, I was able to put those aside, and be in the moment. Not thinking about the past (And lamenting the past as well) and not worrying about the future.  I was able to give the cats the attention they so crave that sometimes I’m not able to give them.

I was at Gallery hop and I thought to myself ‘I’m surrounded by isolated strangers’. I didn’t meet anyone there. And I felt so alone and by myself. I would see something and go, “I wish Ash could see this.” Or I’d look at something and think of someone else.

I want someone to see the mime and his Ann Dreshler wife. The party at Nokia Futon. Look in amazement at all the blown glass at P.M gallery. Lament the loss of The Coffee Table. Grove to CD101 and get my monthly stickers (And yes, I might actually add one to the car) for the table I keep meaning to finish. It needs Matte or something like that for the finish when it’s done.

Allright, it’s 11. I think it’s time to end this day. I’ll TTYL!

chaoticpix93, signing off!

Lessons on how I should pay attention to synchronicity….

5 12 2008

I’ve been having one of those weird moments. Where I define my goals and then find that there are things aligned that will help me make my goals come true.

Like for example, I defined the Big, Fun, Scary Adventure of 2008 for myself in simplicity. I had been trying to do so much all at once last year that it overdid it and I burned out long before Febuary.

It also seems that for once I’m finding that by focusing on these small things instead of trying to force an entire life change, this is causing me to be receptive to everything around me.

I have defined one such goal for this year is geting myself published in print. Not just online in the abyss of bad writing known as both blogging and also on associated content (which should be associated non-content for what it’s worth) but also in printed media. I’ve been wanting to get there but stopping for a long while. I eternally edit and sometimes I don’t even get that far.  I’ve churned out a novel a year since I was in high school, and none of it is anywhere near editable.

Mostly because I don’t know where to begin. And yet I have found out that Taylor, someone I’ve known for a while. He’s got some kind of telephonic class type thing. It’s supposed to be interesting nevertheless, I liked his classes at the RWB at least. Plus the information I get will be invaluable.

So on and So Forth…

28 11 2008

Everything is coming due exactly at the end of the month. That is amazing! I can’t believe that they actually believe I’ll have enough money to pay for everything. Because I don’t. And rent’s due and I don’t have the cash for that. plus I have to get gas, and I don’t have money for that, and everything else. Oh my goodness.

Secondly, I’ve decided that my next goal is getting this place straightened up. Starting with my living room/ computer room. Then my crafting space, and then my dining space (which I might just flip around. And then my bedroom, and the kichen and the bathroom. In that order. 🙂

But for now, I’ll be happy with just having a clean livingroom. Just for now. Hopefully I can find the missing CD. I really desire finding that CD actually. Oh gods.

I started flipping out.

Yeah this place could use a good cleaning. Posthaste. NaNo happened and then I just stopped caring or paying attention to my apartment.