My theory of Religion (take as you will)

9 06 2009

I guess, i really am a little random. I was watching a video about pastafaranism prostelysing on the OSU oval and I started giggling.

I myself have been touched by his noodly apendage, and have accepted him into my life. I am not going to dress up like a pirate every day but I will be a pirate in my heart which is the only thing that counts.

I have a failsafe theory. I will belong to every religion. Officially or unofficially, it doesn’t matter. The ticket is the fact that I will get into heaven, or get reincarnated, or sit in purgatory, or experience nirvana, or go to valhala. That’s the ticket.  I even made up a few of my own religions in case that was also the way to go. I figure if they’re all wrong or if they’re all right, I’ll have won my way into all of them.

If I had to choose an actual religion (not magickal path there’s a difference if subtly) I would be Discordian. On some level. And that will be true in some sense, false in some sense, and true and false in some sense. I also am a Pastafarian by choosing. I’m a “Pagan” by square peg round hole labelling. Agnostic by deity belief, and athiestic at worst. Life is too interesting to worry about some kind of afterlife. I would much rather live my life and learn and enjoy it than worrying about the afterlife and going to heaven and not hell. Oh with a hint of Church of the Subgenius.

I mean, I have created my own religions (the Mountain Dew Religion, the Taco Bell Dog Religion, the Peeps religion) and it makes me realize the whole thing is a massive joke. There was someone who was like me, sitting down and deciding to make a religion. Or they overdosed on something (like in all three of my own religions, although the Taco Bell Dog religion was a byproduct of loving the commercials back when I was a kid), had a mystical revelation and decided to have to create a religion around that.

I grew up in a catholic family, where the church was infalliable at times despite different opinions. It seemed like it’d allways had been there, that the church was built on some kind of backbone. But when I found out about making my own religions, doing research into the background of wicca and some of the other religions I’d joined, I realized that perhaps there really was just someone going, “Hey, lets make this a religion and see if we can get people to buy it!” That’s how scientology started, a bet between two people, Jack Parsons and Ron L. Hubbard (who was accused of stealing money from Jack at one point.)

So am I religious? No. This is why. I hate dogma. I like catmas.

Oh btw, aol radio flipped to belief by john mayer. Hee John’s great.

I’ve got to clean out the car and do a bunch of other non thought-provoking stuff. I’ll Talk to you later!

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One response

9 06 2009
Thomas

This is quite possibly the most interesting and truthful look at religion, which is something that lately I think is a topic people have gotten obsessed over.

Thanks for sharing!

Thomas 🙂

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