A Well Needed Rest

8 02 2009

Today probably had been the most awesome day. I shall keep this as a favorite of a day that I wish I could play over again for days to come.

So I wake up in the morning, do my normal routine. I read the Sunday dispatch and knock a few things off my list. (TOLD YOU, I’m obsessed with LISTS!) It’s quite an accomplishment when I do.

So I did that, and went out to get groceries. Then realized that my bank is closed. Nonplussed I went to Giant Eagle and got a bunch of stuff and then forgot to get cash back for gas. I got 20 cents off a gallon! WOOT!

So I got my gas, happy a full tank cost less than 20 dollars and then just started driving around, forgetting the frozen foods in my back seat. I mailed a letter then came home and put the groceries away.

I sat on the couch and fell asleep. I kept waking up so I curled up completely on the couch and fell into a slumber so deep I don’t remember dreaming, of if I did they weren’t as anxiety ridden.

When I woke up I found that Bella was asleep on me. So I started petting her, then butters joined her on top as well and we just had a cuddlefest with Jim Brickman tinkling in the backround. I never had felt better.

My back was stiff a little, but I worked out the kinks. And for the first time in three or so months, the tension of my neck was gone. The only thing that mattered was enjoying the feeling of sitting there and petting my cats and everything was fine in the world.

I think part of being an adult is that constant worry, that constant stress. What if I loose my job tomorrow? What if my electric gets shut off or my phone? What would I do then? Woudl I be able to manage it? What if I lost my apartment where would I and the birds go. What if they decided that I was worthless and everything. What if my family completely disowned me? And the whole thing with my Dad lately.

I can’t help these worries all the time, because they’re a constant problem in the back of my head.  They are behind everything I do in life. When I’m at work, i’m worrying about home, when I’m at home, I’m worrying about work, or lamenting the loss of friends and aquaintences.

And somehow today, I was able to put those aside, and be in the moment. Not thinking about the past (And lamenting the past as well) and not worrying about the future.  I was able to give the cats the attention they so crave that sometimes I’m not able to give them.

I was at Gallery hop and I thought to myself ‘I’m surrounded by isolated strangers’. I didn’t meet anyone there. And I felt so alone and by myself. I would see something and go, “I wish Ash could see this.” Or I’d look at something and think of someone else.

I want someone to see the mime and his Ann Dreshler wife. The party at Nokia Futon. Look in amazement at all the blown glass at P.M gallery. Lament the loss of The Coffee Table. Grove to CD101 and get my monthly stickers (And yes, I might actually add one to the car) for the table I keep meaning to finish. It needs Matte or something like that for the finish when it’s done.

Allright, it’s 11. I think it’s time to end this day. I’ll TTYL!

chaoticpix93, signing off!

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